January 2011
December 2010
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“I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.”
– Tom Waits
“I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.”
– Tom Waits
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:-)8
Mom: Can you please call me when you need to be picked up! Don’t do anything stupid! :-)8
Me: What is that emoticon?
Mom: bowtie man! He doesn’t do anything stupid
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Knowing for Sure
Dad: I think my phone isn’t texting
Me: yes it is
Dad: How do you know for sure?
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Fuzzy
Dad: We played apples to apples and the word was fuzzy so I put down Fuzz and your brother put down fur - mom picked fur wtf
Dad: It cost me the game
“Get fruity! A mashed banana or peaches inserted in your vagina is a delightful...”
– Cosmopolitan Ultimate Sex Guide. (via ahhellobeautiful-)
Shove 6 different fruits up there and use his dick to make a smoothie.
(via youaintshitbitch)
NEXT MONTH: Best Ways To Treat A Yeast Infection
(via arbitrarily)
jesus christ I am laughing so hard. WHOOSH HIS PENIS AROUND IN IT.
(via...
“Get fruity! A mashed banana or peaches inserted in your vagina is a delightful...”
– Cosmopolitan Ultimate Sex Guide. (via ahhellobeautiful-)
Shove 6 different fruits up there and use his dick to make a smoothie.
(via youaintshitbitch)
NEXT MONTH: Best Ways To Treat A Yeast Infection
(via arbitrarily)
jesus christ I am laughing so hard. WHOOSH HIS PENIS AROUND IN IT.
(via...
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“My daughter, she tells me when she grows up she wants to be a singer or a comic....”
– Carrie Fisher
“My daughter, she tells me when she grows up she wants to be a singer or a comic....”
– Carrie Fisher
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